“Ummm, excuse me but I just have a question. It’s a small detail but I like to keep the facts in order. It’s part of my job here.”

Ok, inspector, what is your query?

“I’d just like to understand how it is you got here? Would you like to add a little information on that sir? Wes Sir? Is that what they call you, Wessir?”

Some people do. How did I get here? You mean why am I doing these things? Why am I traveling and am I on some sort of quest?

“Exactly, please give me some background.”

I never thought I’d be living out the ‘what if I won the lottery’ questions. But that’s what I’m doing. Did I win the lottery? No.

“You did? Or you didn’t?”

I did not, but it sure feels that way because I have to answer those questions.

“What questions?”

If you don’t have to work and you don’t have to be anywhere at any time and you have the wherewithal to do as you will. What are you going to do?

I sure know what I wouldn’t do and that is to keep on doing the exact same things I was doing before I realized I had other choices.

I had often thought there would be great irony to work your whole life for something you could have had much earlier if you had only known…

More than anything, it is some kind of realization there are limits that I cannot overcome. If I want something besides an ordinary life, and an ordinary death, then I have to look for it. It isn’t here. It isn’t doing the same things I’ve been doing. Those aren’t really options anymore. I have to look elsewhere.

“That’s not you.”

No. But that’s every kid. Every American boy and that’s the look you give when you can’t say something is wrong and you just have to say it is all ok. You can’t complain. But it isn’t enough. That’s the look this kid has. He’s an Internet sensation for this picture. He really captured the moment.

“Ok, that’s better. But that isn’t a current photo.”

No, but that is the current ‘me’. I’m in the same status and mindset as when that picture was taken. It is me and I mean that is the current version of me. There really aren’t that many. Everyone has a childhood, and everyone has a 20 something – just trying to find a place in the world you, and then there are other versions of yourself. Those versions may be different for everyone. That’s where we start to diverge. Experiences then mark the ending and beginning of a new part of life. There are many ways to express that. To me, this is the ‘third’ life of mine, and this picture is from the very beginning of it.

I’ve been knocked down a few times but I am still getting up. I still believe in myself even if others haven’t. This is the third life and I’m in control. The damage was done and you can see it under my eyes. I’ll get better, but I’ll never fully recover from it. I’m not special in that way, many people have scars. Some you can see and some you can’t.

I still reach for the highest peaks. I’m still strong and have no fear. I’ll do these things by myself if I have to. I’ve never had to before but my second life is over. The companions I had are gone. I believe it is just temporary but year after year I start to think the third life is only for me. Nobody can come with me, they have their own lives, and they don’t match mine anymore. That is the divergence many of us face when we pass on the ordinary life.

“This is current you, the now. I can see the scars.”

“Just one more question…”

Just one more.

“One ling only?”

I just want one.