Wèi shén me
Well, the sky question anyway. I don’t wonder about Zebra skin patterns.
“Natural selection doesn’t seem much of a mystery.”
Genetic variations aren’t a mystery either.
What is this image of?
What is it?
It is an image from the James Webb space telescope showing the same galaxies at three points in time. It is proof of space time in a single image.
What is ‘it’?
What?
In Chinese, “why” is expressed as 为什么 (wèi shén me).
- 为 (wèi) – meaning “for” or “because of.”
- 什么 (shén me) – meaning “what.”
So, it essentially translates to “for what reason?”
“What?”
“What am I looking at?”
What is ‘it’?
Is it the thing we call a diamond? The crystaline structure made of carbon?
Am I looking at the light being reflected through it?
Whatever ‘it’ is, it is a good question.
“It is a question?”
It is a who. and why the who does what it do is the question.
“Why ask?”
“Wèi shén me?”
The first ask it to understand. To satisfy some quest for knowledge. It seems to be built in. Some characteristic I’m born with. I want to understand because something in me pushes these questions.
I know why I did what I did. It isn’t a mystery.
I even know why I kept trying after so many bad things happened.
“Sucker!”
The next why is why not. I want. I can’t have. Why not? My ask is only for the reason to remove it, this obstacle, the why I can’t have what I want.
Seminars can be taken by salespeople looking to accomplish this. Lessons on how to ask for the why without appearing to be the manipulator you are trying to be. You can’t be the observer. You can’t ask why just for curiosity, you have a purpose, you are involved!
If you think of making the sale as the problem to be solved then this makes perfect sense and explains the questions and actions of salespeople.
If you think of the problem to be solved is a new disease your questions will reflect the effort to understand it in order to change it.
If you believe the problem is what a woman is telling you it is, you’ll probably try to fix it.
“And if she’s lying?”
I know what’s real.
There are moments when I get a good look at the personality traits that are behind the behavior I see.
This river is at high stage and moving very fast. It’s several feet deep and will sweep you away just a few inches from the edge. It’s nearly freezing water and being dragged over boulders could easily kill you.
I’m warning her how dangerous it is to be playing so close to the water. I don’t see her show any fear in situations where it is warranted. This lack of fear goes beyond physical danger. At this place time I think it is becauase she doesn’t recognize the danger. I’ll learn later she does recognize it but doesn’t ‘feel’ it.
Most of the time I don’t notice this. We’re together and doing things I’ve done so many times. I’m going to protect her so why should she be afraid?
So far, she’s up for any adventure. Nothing seems out of place. In fact, the bigger the adventure and risks, the more she seems to like it.
Fun is a feeling I’m pretty sure is real. We go to the greatest places and there is no time limit. We aren’t going back to work.
As long as we are alone everything is great.
I’m showing her a lifetime’s worth places in one summer. It’s just us.
I really love driving in the mountains when you are the only ones there.
“Be where they ‘aint!”
We both take so many pictures and videos. There are thousands and thousands of pictures. It doesn’t seem so strange to me. Digital pictures are free. We want to remember all this right?
I haven’t noticed she doesn’t have pictures from before she met me. A handful at most.
I take pictures too. Mine look a lot different than hers. I’ll put a lot of thought into that later.
She is so fascinated by this river that seems to flow in a circle. We stayed here a week in this perfect spot. Later I’ll think about why she liked it so much. I’ll analyze everything.
Rainbow. Unicorn. There is no one color. Even white has to be pearl white.
“So? You think it means something?”
Depends what you mean by ‘it’.
Most of the time it looks like happiness. It’s like it was when we first starting spending time together.
We are at the Canadian border now. We’re going to keep going North along the Rocky Mountains.
I love these places. I love sharing them. So much still to see.
This is as far as we will get.The other side of the mountain is Canada.
I don’t think twice about it. I’ve crossed many borders around the world. I’ve crossed this border into Canada many times. This time it will be different. I’ll have a few hours to think it over because the Canadian border guards are going to detain her while I wait in the the border guard office, wondering what’s happening. They aren’t searching the truck and aren’t talking to me. This is all about her.
When she is being released I see the border guard has a thick report. He’s angry at her. He’s asking why she lied to him. She tells him she didn’t think it was ‘relevant’.
“It? What is It”
‘It’ is a criminal record.
She’s got an explanation for everything. And if there isn’t one, it’s no big deal. So what. Don’t make a big deal out of it, it wasn’t that bad, she says.
This external validation thing is a problem. She’s kept it from me, but also tells me about it. There’s a contradiction that makes it hard for me to judge it. I do know the border guard has facts I do not.
“I think he’s got many facts you don’t.”
He’s not sharing them with me either. He just says she isn’t allowed and we have to turn around. I’m quite embarrassed going back across the USA side. She isn’t. The USA border guards saw the whole thing. The only emotion she has is anger.
Summer is ending so we head south. I still have a house in Las Vegas that’s been left empty for months.
We’re taking the scenic route along the Pacific coast. It’s still warm here so we camp on the beach and explore.
“Early to bed. Early to rise. For all else, make up lies.”
This is the look of bewilderment. So much nonsense.
This desert means we are close to home in Las Vegas.
We aren’t staying long. She’s convinced me we have to get married now. It can’t wait. She won’t be happy in a ‘normal’ life unless we are married.
Sounds like she’s pushing boundaries again, swimming out again to see how far I’ll go. If we are doing that, then it is a trip to Hawaii where we can swim out for real.
It smells so good here. It’s my second home.
I’m definitely having fun and I’ll take that in this place time. I’ll take all I can get. I know it won’t last.
That’s real. In this place time, it is real.
I’ve often looked at other people in Hawaii thinking they are having more fun or doing something I want. In a way this is my fantasy too. It’s certainly unique.
Its never quite what you think it is. But then how would you know? What do you imagine it to be?
“What does it mean?”
It’s been a fun day. The sun is going to set on it very soon. I’m not sure how to top this for excitement. Maybe we’ll swim with sharks.
I remember this sunset. I do.
Hawaii light. I’ve been on this beach so many times but this time is a special place time.
Not the good special.
This is the end.
If there were more to tell I’d have to explain how we find ourselves in Brainard.
And what we did there.
“I don’t want to know.”
I don’t want to write any novels either.
I learned about ‘it’ from a movie named ‘I am Fishhead’.
I read Hervey Cleckley’s clinical descriptions and interviews he recorded as well as interviews with Robert hare.
This explains it all. Everything fits. I have an answer to every question and explanations for every behavior.
In 2025 I can just ask the Ai and it spits out the truth in bullet points.
Psychopaths exhibit a distinct set of personality traits that set them apart from the general population. These traits often include:
- Superficial Charm – They can be highly charismatic and persuasive, making them seem likable at first.
- Grandiose Sense of Self-Worth – They often see themselves as superior to others and may exaggerate their abilities.
- Manipulativeness – They use deception and manipulation to achieve their goals, often without remorse.
- Lack of Empathy – They struggle to understand or care about the emotions of others.
- Impulsivity – They act on impulse without considering consequences.
- Pathological Lying – They lie frequently and convincingly, often to gain control or advantage.
- Lack of Remorse or Guilt – They rarely feel bad about harming others.
- Shallow Emotions – Their emotional responses tend to be superficial or exaggerated.
- Need for Stimulation – They seek excitement and may engage in risky behaviors.
- Irresponsibility – They often fail to honor commitments or take responsibility for their actions.
These traits can manifest in different ways depending on the individual. Some psychopaths function well in society, using their traits to excel in high-stakes environments, while others engage in more overtly harmful behaviors.
Now you know. You even know what parts are real. Does it matter? Would you do it again? Experiencing the mirror and the fantasy that someone would love you for you.
If you keep going, it won’t ever be like it was at first. It’s already broken and you will be broken too.
In Vegas its called chasing your losses.
Its got a lot of names. Diminishing returns. Normie words describing a symptom that could be from many things.
It doesn’t matter why, only what is. You can’t change it.
So what is ‘it’?
It’s is many things, all at once. Which do you like? They are all real.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Well, that’s not gonna happen.