“What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?”

Bob.

“Haha! How about a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?”

Art.

“I don’t get it.”

“Are you supposed to explain it? Is that like explaining the joke? Aren’t you just supposed to ‘get it’? And what’s wrong with misinterpreting something? As long as you enjoy it, surely that is enough?

This ship is decorated with artworks. And there’s a plaque nearby to explain it to you.

“You unsophisticated hairless monkey, get a clue already!”

I never thought to paint my old sandals and put them behind glass.

“Presentation is everything!”

Theres also some seashells strung together with the old sandals.

“That wire holding it together though! Have you ever seen such splendor?”

Uh, no?

Art is explained, but maybe they get it wrong? How can you know what the artist of the past was actually thinking? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Religious texts are the most misinterpreted writings of all time! They get “interpreted” to mean what the current interpreter or scholar wants it to mean. Even outright mistranslation because it was written in a different language by different people. Why should art be any different? We know people are much smarter now because of education. Who says the thought process of people who believed the world was flat and the universe revolved around the earth can even be interpreted properly?

“They had no clue.”

I say it is not possible. It’s like trying to interpret a baby or an animal, it can’t be done except in simple way. You cannot make simple ideas into complex ideas. That isn’t possible without adding your own ideas to it. You have changed the meaning of it so it is not the same. I think that is fine, just don’t try to explain it and say that was the original thought behind it. It is your interpretation. That is what you see or hear, it is subjective.

“Only an art ‘professor’ would claim it is totally objective. Their job depends on it.”

Even if the original artist says what they are thinking and why they do it this way, people don’t always understand their own actions. There is room for subjectivity even to them. Why is the artist Carlos Betancourt ‘fascinated with issues of memories?’ Is his ‘fascination’ a word to describe something he doesn’t understand himself?

For entertainment purposes only.

“Is this a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?”

“This is starting to get thick!”

“This 2d barcode doesn’t work.”

Sucker!

“Doh!”

Some things have to be sold. If there was nobody to sell it, it would only be worth it’s actual value. Sometimes they call the sale “value added”.

“That’s the difference between what you pay for something and what you can sell it for.”

The staff at this retail store are learning to “add value”. Everything in this store is name branded. That’s what they are selling. Every morning, they meet for training on what they are there to do and how to do it. They are trained because it must be sold. Who would buy something with someone else’s name on it? The people who make these things in Malaysia might make a dollar a day. These things aren’t valuable because they were hard to make, they were not. They aren’t rare, they can make as many as can be sold. The price isn’t high because of supply and demand. You aren’t getting something special because its ‘duty free’. It is all flash and no substance. The only value it has is because the ‘insert name here’ brand was sold to you.

“Ling has ‘Calvin Klein’ sweats!”

She said she bought them off the clearance rack.

“But still wearing another person’s name!”

She is only Ling. Not Ling Ling.

“Oh.”

If she sewed her own name on them then she is Ling Ling.

“Shirley Ling!”

“Why are they on the clearance rack if they are valuable?”

Clearance rack is closer to actual value. You can find things for actual value if you look for them. The brand must be seen by everyone or there is no value added. If nobody knows the name then the only value is the actual value. Sometimes they give away these things so people see that other people have them. People want what other people have, if it is perceived as valuable. Give things to people that other people already envy and what they have is also envied. It is the trick of advertising. Even pay enviable people to say they like these things, and other people will want them too.

Real value is rare, real value is hard to make, real value can be hard to find.

“Shirley Ling!”

But, her name is Shirley.

“I know these works. They are very common. The artist is Michael Goddard. He dresses up like Ozzy Osbourne.”

He’s a real character for sure. Is he an artist? Or is he an artisan?

“The martini drink characters are his idea. There is a video playing next to this. It is in the Park West store. He talks all about where his ideas came from. He’s from Vegas, or his parents were, or something. His work is a lot of gambling and drinking inspired stuff on dark backgrounds. He likes Ozzy. He even wears Ozzy makeup.”

Park West calls themselves galleries. But they are stores. They are selling ‘art’ that is really a copy of the original. Ling says she saw a presentation and the original is done by the artist and the copies are paint by numbers done by an artisan. They are real paint on canvas, but not actually done by the artist. These are artisan pieces. It is a business and these copies have no value beyond the value added because they are sold to you. We’ve seen the same ‘art’ on several ships. The originals are probably worth something but the copies are only worth the actual value of the paint and canvas. The markup on a copy is at least 100 times what it cost to make.

“That’s why they give champagne for free when you attend the ‘art’ auctions. It’s really a show. There isn’t much ‘art’ to it. Getting you drunk enough to bid with the others is exciting. But you know some of the bidders aren’t really buying. They are part of the show. We saw some pieces that were sold being put back into the inventory room at 5 AM when we were the only ones to see them do it. The actual sales were packaged up for the guests to take home or have shipped to them.”

Those ‘buyers’ were probably part of the act. Just like the magicians and comedians had their own people in the audience. But, maybe it was a real buyer and they bought a copy and that copy is being shipped to them. I don’t know that isn’t true, but do they know they are getting a copy? There’s also a ‘clearance’ sale at the end of every cruise. Aloha! Better to enjoy that kind of show with the comedy magicians. You can see the same tricks but the show is free!

“They sell drinks at the shows.”

That’s a deal worth taking!

“I remember the Michael Goddard video had an intro by a Park West salesman. He was smooth. And the video was very professionally done. I know these things.”

We know all about marketing, don’t we. We spent decades enabling these people. We saw the numbers and we met the people who create the images that make the sale. We even produced some of the print and email marketing. We knew the artists, show people, and the sales people who play this game.

“They are proud of it. They have lots of names for the game. They even give you that dupers delight smile when they get over on you.”

In the Michael Goddard video, he talks about how he’s grounded because he lived in a van for a while and he comes from the working class. Of course, at the end of the video you see him peel out of his mansion’s driveway in his Lamborghini with his name on the license plate. That’s what Park West is all about. That’s what he’s about and that’s the dupe you see at the end. It’s the final got ya!

“Did Park West make the experience.art website? Are they the ones trying to convince people they should ‘invest’ in art?”

What do you think?

“Ummmm”

Art auction today! Art auction tomorrow.

“Aloha sucker! You know, Blanche’s shopping bag isn’t such a bad deal after all. Maybe it does belong under glass!”

Maybe you are the funny one! It’s not all bad though, you can still enjoy things in your own way. You don’t have to buy into someone else’s view of it. Even if your perception of it isn’t what they intended.

“Happens all the time. Nothing wrong with that. I don’t know half the words to the songs I listen to. I still enjoy them!”

So true! If you see something you like and will enjoy then consider buying it. Or seeing a show, or tasting something new, there are lots of ways to enjoy life. You can even help other people when you do that.

“Help them get a mansion and a Lambo!”

Staring contest. It’s mesmerizing.

This is an attraction that makes drinks. You use a tablet to order your drink and the machine makes it for you. It’s pretty gimmicky but many people gave it a try. It grabs the bottle from the ceiling and the mixers from the dispenser to create your drink. A slide delivers it to you. This bar is called “The Bionic Bar” and there’s always a few people trying it out. It doesn’t replace any of the bars that have real bartenders. It also can’t run by itself, it breaks down, can’t clean up, and can only work with plastic cups. There’s a lot it can’t do and it still needs people behind the scenes to keep it running.

“It reminds me of the paint by numbers ‘art’ Park West is trying to sell.”

It reminds me of something else.

It’s just another attraction and you can enjoy it knowing nobody lost their job. This thing won’t listen to your problems and it won’t give you a double pour either! The human is going to win every time.

“Lloyd!”

So, Lloyd, I’ve got two crips twenties in my wallet and nothing to do. How about a drink?

‘Your money is no good here sir.’

I’m the kind guy who likes to know who’s buying his drinks Lloyd.

‘Just your SeaPass card sir.’

You don’t want me to kill the kids? I’ll do it. Just say the word Lloyd. I’ll get an axe and chop ‘em to pieces and stack ‘em like logs. It’s been 8 whole days with these monsters. They need to be ‘corrected’. I’m gonna go crazy!

‘No sir, just your SeaPass card for the drink.’

Ok then.

“Here’s another plaque. It goes with these giant words ‘Hope and Pray’? That’s art?”

Font selection matters. The right font and color choice can convey the deepest understandings of the human condition. What is your bid sir? Going once, going, going … Your bid Sir?

“Really? What does this ‘art’ mean? Why would this have any value?”

“I’m not buying this.”

No. I’m not buying that either. How about a comedy show?

“Ok!”

This guy is the most famous comedian in the country.

“So they say. How you gonna fact check? It’s a free show, right?”

We aren’t going to buy any drinks if that’s what you mean.

“Let’s sit up in the VIP section.”

Dang, this is high up! This must be what its like to look down on people. Literally!

“I can hardly hear him. And there’s a Kathy next to us. She’s laughing all the time. He must be funny.”

Must be, she’s real laughing. Not that fake scream laugh. We can move over a little, toward the speaker.

“I’m not understanding all his jokes. The audience is laughing. Is it the accent? Is it his jokes?”

He’s talking Aussie slang and making jokes about drunk driving. Americans don’t laugh at that kind of thing. You would have to explain the slang for it to be funny.

“Is it funny if you explain it?”

Is the art worth more if you explain it?

“No.”

Remember the movie Predator when that one guy was telling jokes to the other guy but he wouldn’t laugh so he was explaining the joke? He still didn’t laugh.

“Except for the one joke, it was a lot like this guy’s joke. Well, this guy had 2 jokes. He built a whole show around 2 jokes.”

In Predator the guy is telling the other guy a joke and says he puts his head between his girlfriend’s legs and says ‘Geez you got a big pussy. Geez you got a big pussy.’ The other guy doesn’t laugh so he says he didn’t say it twice, it was because of the echo. I thought the comedian was telling the same joke. He was making fun of the Australian’s random tattoos.

He says one girl had a big seashell tattooed to the inside of each of her legs, and when he put his head there…

“He could hear the ocean!”

Close, he said he could smell the ocean.

“Oooooo that’s a fishy joke!”

Big laughs. I thought they might get offended because he made fun of their tattoos.

“These Aussies are a little tougher than that.”

His other joke he is asking members of the crowd how old they are. The legal drinking age is 18 so some are pretty young. One guy says he’s 19.

The comedian comes back with his second-best joke of the night. ‘I got pubic hairs older than that!’ … ‘In my teeth.’

Bigger laughs.

“Why is that funny?”

Well, If I have to explain it then it isn’t.

There was another show was named ‘Mario, Queen of the Circus’ and he was hilarious!

“He was a circus acrobat, juggler, and comedian. He had a hundred one-liners going through the whole show. I was in tears he was so funny. I can’t remember laughing so hard since Sam Kennison or Chris Rock.”

There was still a culture thing happening. The Aussies LOVE the English band, Queen. They do sing-alongs and know all the words. His act went well in Australia, which is where most of the audience was from. He also noticed all the tattoos on the Australians. They all seem to have a bunch of tattoos. He said he had a tattoo also, but just one. He pointed to his groin and said the tattoo was of Pinocchio. ‘You’d know if I was lying’ he said, and I was the only one laughing. He said ‘Ok 6:30 crowd’ and moved to his next joke a half second later.

“Haha that’s funny.”

If you know the story of Pinocchio it is.

“I guess the Aussie’s don’t know that story. Somebody should explain the joke to them. Hey, I got a joke. What weighs less than the color blue?”

Idk what? What weighs less than the color blue?

“Light blue!”

.

“You aren’t laughing. Do you want me to explain it to you?”