“One?”
“One what?”
Could be a thing.
Could be a person.
‘That one.’
I know that. But how do you know?
“What do you mean anyway?”
This is what Jerry does. I’m going to learn what it is and how it is done.
“It’s extra ordinary.”
We aren’t all extra ordinary though. There are some ‘extras’ that are just too ordinary for me. These extras in any business are the normies. The accountants, salepeople, and project managers. They are overhead and will be eliminated by machines as soon as is possible. Just a meat sack until they can figure out how to replace you.
I’m in a Dilbert cartoon. The salesman are put in charge of software development after Jerry is sold on external development. He doesn’t know anything about outsourcing software development. He’s going to learn the expensive way it isn’t what he thinks it is.
Frank and Bean think they can do this but have zero experience. They don’t know what they don’t know.
This is an old idea but when you live through it you can feel it like gears of a giant machine crushing you. If you aren’t a gear yourself you are getting crushed by one. It’s only the current ‘reality’ that you deal with that makes it seem unusual.
“Is this an authentic human experience?”
Being affected by things you can’t control seems like a human experience. I’m having an authentic experience and I don’t like it much.
“Frank isn’t special. That’s another name for a hot dog.”
The other guy has some stories from when he lived in England. Some minor brushes with fame. Could be made-up. Nobody can fact check it. Mr. Bean is a goofy English character from the movies. I’ve never seen that movie but it just came to mind because of the canned food ‘Franks and Beans’ which is just hot dogs in baked beans. It’s a typical American picnic food or pot-luck item. Couldn’t be more un-special than that.
“Such a hot dog!”
The English brought their love of sausages from the Old World, and learned about beans from the native Americans.
“What could we have done differently?”
Why even ask? Groundhog day isn’t real.
These salesman can sell themselves, at least they can sell that, to Jerry. It’s the first job of every salesman to sell yourself. You are special if you say you are. Jerry think’s he’s special. So for that reason he is. He has some authority and steps over me to claim it. This guy is not special in my eyes. On paper it looks like one thing. He’s even using a fake name or middle name? I saw his ID. His name if Frank. That’s not special so he calls himself some unique name. He would be embarrassed if you knew his real name.
He speaks at least two languages and went to a famous university. Brigham Young University is a religious school. He is a Mormon. That’s one of the USA fringe religions. Mormans has some unusual practices including very large families and because of that he isn’t special at all. He’s one child of eight and has a dozen cousins. They all went to BYU as well. That’s where you go if you live in Utah and are a Mormon. It’s just matter of fact. It doesn’t make you special at all. Being in a big family makes you one of many. He speaks other languages because when they are young they travel to other countries to evangelize their religion. He hasn’t done anything outside of the schedule that was set for him.
Free will is an illusion for this guy. I doubt he will ever really never know it or if he does it sounds something like walking the path his god made for him. He already has three children and probably more coming. He’s under pressure to support them all. This is his chance to be somebody. Frank and Bean have visions of success but they have to know they are in over their heads. Where could they be getting the confidence and skills to do this? Maybe they are just milking the last months before they go on to the next job. As company salespeople they have already failed. They can’t sell enough to support their pay so they have to elevate themselves somehow. They will be ‘Senior Vice President’, and ‘Vice President of this or that’. This fits in the marketing world. You have to be self-important to be getting retainers from ad clients. It’s part of the business. Your first and continuous sale has to be to Jerry and after that your clients. Whatever they want to hear is what you will say.
“So that’s a chameleon?”
What? No. These are just Normies doing normie things. These aren’t chameleons.
“I guess you all failed equally.”
Jerry is going to sell off the manufacturing part of the new company division. I am the only part that is staying on at the ad agency. Me and the salespeople.
Binny is left behind. She’s a ghost. She hates me because I brought her to the ad agency with me but it didn’t turn out like I was telling her. She’s going to be ok but our friendship is over. She doesn’t even talk to me, she just comes into her office next to mine and starts working silently. I can hear when she plugs in her iPhone and that’s my morning reminder life sucks now. I’ll be glad to be at the agency with the pretty people and closer to home. I hate driving.
It is the death of a career.
“Too bad it wasn’t Death of a Salesman. That’s a classic.”
I can see the time is passing and we are losing a race. I’ll still have a job in tech if I want it but that personalized marketing thing has come and gone. That was the career that linked all the tech jobs. Now some of what was imagined is real and standard practice. Access to lists and data about people is available to everyone. Tech to create email is everywhere. New apps are coming out to interact with people in highly personal ways. Even variable pricing is here. We missed the opportunity. There is no question of it. I tried the team game and lost. My team wasn’t the winner. Some players got paid but the team lost. It’s a recurring theme some people cash big paychecks and bonuses while other people get screwed over.
This is just the land of Normies and hot dogs. They can dress differently and talk differently. They aren’t doing anything notable. This is repeated all accross the land and probably the world.
Your team might not be the winning team and you aren’t able to change that.
“It’s closer to our house. Same pay.”
“It’s closer to home anyway. It’s just a job.”
I tell myself that every day when I walk in.
I just got back from China. I don’t think much of this life compared to the one I just had so any change here will be irrelevant.
“Even though it was just a taste?”
It seemed like more. I remember it like it was much more. It was special.
This job is here for at least a year. It will take that long for the company to sink. During this time I pursue the other parts of my life that I have time for now.
Just working at a job is a lot less demanding than climbing the career ladder which never seems to end.
I make no decisions here. I’ve been sidelined by Frank and Bean. Nothing that happens now is my responsibility.
“Don’t take it personal.”
“Not for you.”
At this place time it means my career is over.
That phrase can mean so many things when I think of Jerry. Sure, he got me me on this maneuver, but I think karma got him!
It indicates women are all crazy, at least 4.
No mention of mean.
“I like that everyone has a chance. You can be zero hot and still be on the line.”
You’re not reading that right. Below 5 are no-go.
“Right! Like unicorns. They don’t exist.”
‘Not for you!’
‘All women are crazy, some are mean.’
I still don’t know which ones he’s referring to. I assume the ones in the office because that’s a fact.
‘Except for Lezlie.’
She’s my friend now too so he has to walk it back slightly lest I tell her what he said. He doesn’t have to worry. Nothing I say is going to change her opinion of him and I have no reason to try. They’ve been sorta together for many years. She’s the one he wants but can’t hold it together for very long.
Jerry’s family has some reliability issues and Lezle’s is no different. At one point or another it is a problem he just can’t get by. It’s not a stable relationship. That doesn’t affect me though. We are friends no matter what is happening between them.
“What must he think to see you with his girlfriend?”
I’m sure he’s thinking whatever she wants him to think. I have utility. I’m useful that way but I’m not the problem.
One of Jerry’s worries is some important things of his will be lost. I understand his sentiment. Most of this is irreplicable and special to him. Those concerns are real. There will be a final irony that he’s going to die and all of it will be garbage or sold off at an estate sale. Nobody cares of it besides him and he’s gone. On paper he traded Lezlie for the stuff that he’s going to die with.
‘On paper.’
in reality there will always be some problem between them. They both have limits of what they can offer each other and if Jerry loses some stuff it won’t make any difference. This relationship will have to do, that’s all he’s getting. I never ask him if it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I take that question beyond love, and apply it to everything. Do you want a sample or nothing? Will a copy be good? Because you can’t have the original. What will you accept and what can you be happy with?
I ask him why do people keep getting married?
‘Second time they still believe in love, after that it’s a deal.’
I don’t like those words either.
“I don’t like any of these ‘words of wisdom’ so far. Why are you even friends with this guy? I’m not catching any wisdom here.”
We don’t have to think the same to be friends.
“How did we get here. This is supposed to be about a chameleon.”
“Lattice of coincidence?”
Cosmic unconsciousness.
In the dance of the cosmos, where stars twinkle with secrets and fate weaves its intricate tapestry, the chameleon emerges as a symbol of transformation and wonder, its vivid colors a reflection of the universe’s dreamlike allure; each hue tells a story of personal evolution, reminding us that life is a canvas shaped by the choices we make and the paths we choose, inviting us to embrace our own vibrant metamorphosis as we align with the currents of destiny.
Not only is that more Ai nonsense, it’s baloney in this world too.
“It’s not so far off.”
We can trace a series of bad decisions made by the others in my absense to a situation where I return from China and am greeted by my ‘assistant’ they hired. Hello chameleon.
“So the chameleon is a person?”
Many memories could be questioned in the past, before digital cameras were in our hands.
If you wanted to destroy the past you would destroy photographs, videos, notes, anything at all from that place time.
She made a tremendous effort but it isn’t so easy in this place time. So much data into the cloud, into cache, into the deep web. Sim cards hold so much and are so tiny.
There is too much data to doubt the experience. From the beginning to the end.
I just said we have it.
I bet you think this is just another normie tale.
This happens all the time. This is normal crazy. I’m talking about something else altogether.
Psychopath!
Not that one silly. The common one. They are all around but hard to see because they can look like something else.
“Chameleon.”
That’s one part of it. They definitely know what they are doing. You might wonder how much is reflex and instinct and how much is actually planned. Sometimes I know. Sometimes I can’t tell.
“Well, if you can’t tell, does it matter?”
I remember this day. I took this picture. I know who this woman is but I don’t recognize her. This person in front of me is going to dissapear and another is going to replace her.
This is the first day she is here in my home. Not knowing her history and the recent events that brought her to Las Vegas, this just looks like she’s happy to be here. Is that real? I think it is but I’m going to learn the reasons for it aren’t what I think.
What I see is going to change quickly.
The tale of Narcissus is happening to me.
“I love me some me.”
Wait, I’m not a narcissist, am I? I’m never first, there’s always someone better. None of the descriptions of narcissism fit me. The story fits though. The psychopath has the ability to be the mirror. She does the same. She likes what I like, says the same things I say, does what I do, dresses like I do, everything.
She says she’s the greatest actress ever. She can play any part.
She makes the same faces I do, its a game. I think it’s cute but I don’t realize why she does this. I’ve never seen it done this way. It goes far beyond just copying facial expressions.
Psychopaths have a few trademark characteristics. One is to push boundaries. She’s got a long way to go to reach my boundaries. She doesn’t know this so there’s a lot of satisfaction if she thinks she pushed past one of them.
I note the behavior each time. I remember thinking the expression I’m seeing is happiness but it isn’t quite that. It’s delight.
She doesn’t know about China. I don’t say if anything is important to me or why. If I did she would destroy it. Right now she’s trying to destroy the job for her and me too. I can’t understand why at this place time. It looks like jealousy but it isn’t. So many things aren’t what they look like.
She will push every boundary at work, to the point she is going to be fired. I already know she can’t be left alone in my home. I know exactly what Jerry felt! There are so many problems now, but it still seems like they could be solved.
Jerry, Frank, and Bean have no idea what they brought into the company. Instant karma is going to get them when I have to choose work or her. They can’t stop the fire that’s burning out of control so quickly.
‘Burnt’. That’s a word the psychopath loves. That’s her word. It’s a repeating pattern. Something is the best thing ever and before you know it, it’s on fire, it’s burning, and it’s burnt. I haven’t noticed yet everything she has is new. All her clothes are new. Her image is re-created almost as often as the seasons change.
“She has more lives that me!”
These extremes rule the psychopath’s world. Easily bored is another characteristic of the psychopath. Bored with things and experiences and people. I’ll see this pattern in time.
I don’t have much time to analyze what is happening. All I really have to go on is the hot/crazy diagrams which may or may not be helpful in any particular place time.
“Is that a knife?”
I don’t know exactly where we are on this scale.
“I think it’s a dartboard. Just guess. Jerry’s not helping.”
I think we are swimming out into the ocean. Daring each other to go further. This is what you want? I should ask why but we are too busy jumping from one adventure to another. This isn’t any different.
Complete with some Indian-East Asian spiritual nonsense. This book will be in the trash can in a few hours. This is just a game. It’s real in this moment but that’s all. The ‘shaman’ or whatever he is is just a businessman selling weddings out of his home on Oahu, next door to Metallica’s lead singer’s house.
He used to be a boat captain and now he does this.
“What’s the look? Is it happiness?”
No, it’s something else. Maybe ‘satisfaction’. This was a goal she had. The motivation isn’t what it should be.
I’m still not understanding why there is such a mismatch between the words and the actions.
No problem though. We’re married now so it will be happily ever after for us.
“Don’t lie to me!”
“Is that a Nuclear Sunset?”
Burning, burning, burnt.