Earth, Wind, and Fire used to be all there was.
Then came the atom – the smallest thing that could be imagined.
“No Sir! Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons!”
Nope! Subatomic particles. Quarks, Gluons, Mesons…
“I know Quarks!”
“Ferengis and Klingons!”
Mmm, How about no.
Still a no. That’s Worf.
No. That’s a Wharf.
“That’s all I can think of. What’s smaller that subatomic? What could that possibly be? Isn’t the Plank the smallest measure there is?”
That’s the smallest measure we can Imagine.
“Quantum? Quantum of the Seas? What the heck is that?”
We might want to research that.
“Here?”
“In these books?”
That’s one place we can learn.
“I have trouble concentrating. That’s too much, I can’t find the answer here. What is quantum? QFT? QotS?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_field_theory
“TLDR. Why don’t you just tell me?”
Both are the bomb. This ship is pretty fine and so is quantum field theory. Want to know more?
“Do I have to? Can you just give me the short, mangled, dummy version so my tiny brain can latch on to some wildly misinterpreted idea and just go with it?”
Ok. Particles are the dead polar bears and the quantum field is the ocean.
“Great! I like that! Now tell me about the ship.”
I think you are parked in my spot Ms. Royal Caribbean, Ms. Carpe Diem, Ms. Ovation of the Seas. You got so much glass you look like an old woman who’s been married so many times…
“Wrong loop! This isn’t the ‘Ovation of the Seas’, this is the ‘Quantum of the Seas’. We had another reset.”
Are you sure?
It looks the same. It has that little glass ball on top, a bunch of glass all around it, the ‘carpe diem’ thing.
“It’s a different one ‘Doc’. There was another reset.”
It sure reminds me of something.
“Some ships just shine Doc.”
This is Queensland. We aren’t in New South Wales anymore. This ship is in Brisbane. Things are different here.
We rode the train, remember?
“I remember the train. Yes, things look different. I don’t remember that building. Weren’t we just at the beach? Weren’t we on the Australian Gold Coast?”
We were, for one night. A blink of an eye. We didn’t even take any pictures it was so quick.
“It was nice though, wasn’t it?”
It was! We had a really nice apartment, but it had one problem we really haven’t dealt with lately.
“Oh, right.”
That’s a big problem. We won’t have that problem on the ship. Time to go!
“Why are there so many new people on this ship? I was told they went back to school last week. Their summer break is over. Why are they here?
I’m not certain school is important ‘down under’.
“Not for these little ones!”
Rock climbing wall and some kind of skydiving simulator are watched over by?
“The ambiguously gay bear?”
It is a flaming bear.
There are lifeguards too. We haven’t had any of those so far. It’s like they are expecting the new people.”
There’s one old guy there, see him? But, there are a lot of new people here. They are everywhere! Even in the main dining rooms people are bringing their new ones in. The pool is completely off limits to me, it’s nasty like a dirty river. There is no adult only pool either. New people infest every part of the ship. They are underfoot too. I’m afraid I’ll step on one.
“Look at them clinging on to the sides! They make cute squeaky noises when you step on them.”
Parents hate that. They pee in the pool too.
“The parents pee in the pool?”
I see them drinking but they don’t get out of the jacuzzi.
“Jacuzzi water is always warm. Sometimes yellow.”
It is disappointing, but we can skip that part. Another lesson learned.
“What lesson is that? Is it the ship? Time of year? Where it is going or where it sailed from? Why? We need to ask someone. In a nice way of course. How?”
Good questions. And, good question.
“There are lots of young people too. It isn’t spring break, is it? I want to be with the aged people again. We all get along well.”
Mostly.
“I like being with them. It makes me feel young. Nobody notices scars or ‘dad-body’ or hair loss.”
One of the bus drivers said colleges are out for the summer. Another week or two and they start up again.
“We should fact check that before booking the 2 carnival cruises from here. They are super cheap. Could be a reason for that. Maybe we should go back to New Zealand for a few weeks. Or we could go hang at the Gold Coast and do some scuba and maybe buy a snorkel set. We could go every day for free.”
Good thinking, don’t forget.
“I won’t forget.”
Something tells me you are going to forget.
“Forget what?”
For now, we should focus on this cruise. We skipped the drink package. And we didn’t get a balcony either. We got the tiniest inside room yet. It’s interesting, like a camper or a tiny house. Those are chic.
“Chic is code for crap. And who are these D-bags running around the pool deck? There’s plenty of treadmills in the exercise room. We saw a dozen treadmills on the first day when we explored the ship. There’s still a lot of people strolling around and taking pictures at sunset. They are assholes for doing that right now.”
Those are the same guys that work out at the beach. They do it for attention. They also drive big trucks that aren’t for work and have tiny penis’ because they are on ‘roids.
“They should date the Kathy’s who scream fake laughs!”
They probably wouldn’t like each other. Too much competition for attention. The room is good enough for this week. We can eat dinner late when the new people are knocked out from screaming and stomp running all day long. We are putting all resources toward shore excursions. One for each stop. Our destinations are world famous for crystal clear water. The ocean temp is 84 and it’s blue again. Not the emerald green water we have been in lately.
“Stomp running is like scream laughing, it takes a lot of energy! Late dinner is a good plan.”
Let’s focus on the good things. This is a 5-star ship! There are a lot of really cool things to see and experience. Never mind the swimming pool.
“Right! Let’s just pretend these are walkers, not baby carriages.”
I like pretending.
“That guy has a pained expression. It looks like he’s at work.”
At least he’s got his iced coffee drink.
“That’s hers. Can’t you see he’s carrying the load? We’ve been over this already. That souvenir cup is his, it came with the soda package. He’s not allowed to drink anymore.”
I can see she’s in control.
“That’s Nan and Wesley. In 50 years or so he can drink again. Until then he’ll be lucky to have a boy’s night out or a day golfing.”
You’re just making that up, you don’t know that. I’m sure it isn’t that bad. He’s on this cruise, isn’t he? That’s something.
“Ya, except he’s on this cruise with them! Sure, I made that up, his name isn’t Wesley. The rest you can see in his eyes.”
Ok, ok, let’s change the subject. Ling said this port was built on a swamp and there is no public transportation. Ling has been all over Australia. She knows all about it.
Uber was easy enough. And we took the train from the Gold Coast to one of the train stations near the port so we didn’t have too much trouble. But it did smell bad, being in the swamp. And the Uber guy made a joke about it.
It does seem pretty swampy here. I hope we don’t run aground. It doesn’t look very deep.
“We were talking about the ship, ok? Let’s talk about the ship.”
It is nice. Lots of large spaces.
Lots of colorful moving lighting too.
Artwork everywhere.
A very nice theater.
This is an actual piano bar. People gathered around with their drinks while an entertainer played for them.
This is the back of the ship. It is a multi-use venue. They did Zoomba in the mornings and it was a stage in the evening. You can see the floor cutouts rise and there are stage passageways under them. LED screens come down to cover the windows and become the back of the stage. It has stage lighting and sound as good as the regular theater.
Some of the elevators have glass bottoms. Fun for me since I’m afraid of heights!
Other elevators have the day. At first, I wondered if that was the actual day but I realized those were removable. A lot of people had the same thoughts. I’ve never seen that before.
“You really forget the dementia here!”
Cute art on the elevator walls too.
“Just leave your drinks and food anywhere. Someone will be along for them very soon. Enjoy your holiday!”
Knowing what day it is could be helpful, to someone. And it is on the display screens too. More importantly they have the weather outside and what’s happening around the ship.
“Elevation zero.”
Plus your deck number x 10 ft.
“Something like that.”
This ship has 2 homes, and is multi-purpose. Half the year it sails in the Far East; China, Japan, Singapore. The other half of the year it sails around Australia, and New Zealand and the South Pacific.
And it is purpose built for families as well. My room is actually a lock-off room attached to a master suite.
“Yes, we have the kid’s room because we can’t afford that suite. Not on this sailing anyway.”
We got a look at the suite and it’s massive. It’s as big as the apartment we had at the Gold Coast and had a huge balcony too. My little room was one of the best interior rooms I’ve been in because the shower was big and the room had a virtual window which is super cool. I still got to wake up with the sunrise. The screen was dark at night, just enough to be a nightlight. When it started to get light outside, it got light inside too. I woke up for the sunrise everyday which I really like. You have to be a Filthy Rich Asian to afford the master and the kids lock-off.
“Or a Senior Vice President of Corporate Inc. I’m glad they were fighting! Spending 15k for a week in that room is obscene.”
Straight ahead to the suite, left turn to the kiddie room.
Best pillows ever. Super clean. Everything very nice on this 5-star Royal Caribbean ship.
This shower is better than the one I have in Vegas! It is the best one I’ve had on any ship so far. I have no complaints at all. We ate at the same places, saw the same shows, visited the same ports. I heard them yelling at each other a couple of times. Money doesn’t buy happiness!
“Just a bigger room and a balcony.”
Only on this sailing. I could have had a balcony if I wanted to take this ship to Tokyo next month. Repositioning is the real bargain. The lobsters can’t take the time for that! They like ships that start and end in the same place, preferably close to their homes.
They even made my towels into little towel animals.
Of course, not everything was as good as what I’ve become accustomed to. It’s tough to get great service when you are with 5,000 other people. That guest to crew ratio matters.
Plain coffee. Plain Wesley.
I don’t feel special like I am now used to feeling. I used to be somebody!
“The truth hurts! Maybe we should go back to fantasy life with Lings.”
Not ‘maybe’.
The lifeguard says this cruise line caters to families. Kids are always onboard. It is the cruise line. And the fact it leaves and returns to the same port every week. No long cruises for them, they have to get back to work. Maybe a repositioning cruise of 12+ days would have less kids, but don’t count on that, you never know. Lifeguards say some ships and cruise lines have no children by rule. Celebrity is one that doesn’t allow children.
“Martha’s ship too! She never mentions children except in passing as ‘little ones’ and always in reference to other people’s kids. Always food, doilies, and Martha on her IG. Nothing else.”
This cruise line always has new people and on Spring Break and summer vacations even more! Packed 4 to a room. 2,090 rooms! Will it sink?
Drink packages are also a secret money maker. You cannot drink enough to make that a deal. $38/day for unlimited soft drinks but a can of soda is just $3.50. You will not drink 10+ cans per day to make it a deal for you.
“Have you seen these people?”
There sure are a lot of smokers in Australia. More than in the United States nowadays. It’s especially noticeable because there are lots of public advertisements in Australia warning people about skin cancer, but nothing about cigarettes.
“That and we’ve been conditioned by the other cruises we have been on. It’s really frowned upon and they have only a few tiny spaces for smokers. They also have signs all over saying cigarette butts can be sucked back into the ships ventilation system and start a fire. Lots of warnings about that.”
We aren’t seeing those warnings here. Do you think they have a different ventilation system?
“I think you’ve forgotten what you know about propaganda. The Aussies like to smoke and tattoo themselves up. Bad for business if the cruise line makes them feel bad for doing questionable things.”
There are some reminders about wearing sunscreen. They pick and choose what vices they want to say something about. No mention of a high sugar diet though. They sell soft drink packages so they aren’t going to discourage sugary soft drink consumption.
New people love sugar soda drinks! Zooom! Screaming new people fueled by all the sugar they can handle. Hopefully this is just a vacation treat and not every-day life. Yikes!
60$/ day for unlimited alcoholic drinks. Drinks are usually $12 so you won’t drink 5 every day on cruise to come out ahead on that deal.
“Alcoholics or spring break 20 somethings can!”
The outside bar lines for drinks is 4 people deep like a Vegas nightclub. You cannot sit back and have good service on this ship of 4,000+ passengers. It’s not possible. Nobody is going to feed you drinks non-stop unless you are adding extra tips on top of what they are already charging. The staff really appreciates tips so you know the base salary isn’t that great.
“Free at Sea packages are also money makers. Shore excursion credits only encourage you to use them. Cruise line makes $$$$ and probably only give half to actual excursion operator. That is why the tour guides beg for tips.”
Internet package is huge money maker too. You pay a whole month’s worth of internet service at home in single day here. A whole year’s worth in one week to be InstaFaceBookSnapping your good times to poor friends and family back home live. They look so busy trying to impress the ones that aren’t here, they might be forgetting to enjoy what is right in front of them.
“Internet usually sucks too. On our “free” packages we couldn’t sync iPhone 3gb of content until we get to port with free internet. Just stay offline and enjoy the time to yourself.
“That kills the new people! They can’t stand life without constant attention.”
They will pay then. Price is appropriate to demand. Kathy’s the same. Never grow up. I see them streaming too and taking selfies like new people.
“Suckers!”
But we have gotten deals on these things, you just have to be look at what you get and what you would be spending ala-carte. A short cruise with a package can be good because it’s a per-day charge. A long cruise and per-day charges could really add up. Seems obvious but don’t buy things you don’t need, even on vacations.
“Or any day.”