“The sun came out!”

We are lucky again! You know there wouldn’t be any waterfalls if there wasn’t any rain. Good timing, there’s lots of waterfalls and blue skies!

It seemed like just a taste. This afternoon in Dusky Sound didn’t quite satisfy completely.

“That’s pretty cool but Ling says Norway is better.”

I believe it. But this is nice too and it’s still winter up in Norway. You’d need an Icebreaker or something to get in there. That’s an August destination.

“Martha loves Norway!”

“Not that Martha! And that’s not Norway. That’s Southern California.”

“Yes, that Martha. She’s hip with Snoop Dogg and Bic Lighters.”

You gotta sell-out if you want the deluxe cabin on the Regatta!

“And that free, branded, wet-weather gear.”

“You know there were a lot of haters on Martha because of that iceberg thing. That’s so wrong! there are other people that deserve that a lot more than her. She is just having fun! That drink looks like a White Russian on Ice, Berg.

My name’s not Berg. Have you tried her beef stew recipe? It’s delicious! The sun came out, and we are going to have a roast now.

“WTF is wrong with this girl. There’s a more than a thousand people on the observation deck taking pictures and she’s jogging in and out of them like this is the time and place for exercising.”

I know! We are on this deck all the time and never see these people exercising. They only come out when there’s people here to see them. There are lots of treadmills to use and they all have a great view.

They aren’t using them so they aren’t really about fitness. They just want to be seen and they don’t care if they are in the way or running other people over. They are as bad as the Kathy’s who fake laugh-scream to get attention.

“Any attention will do when you are a narcissist.”

Grey rock. Look away. Ignore them. They hate that. We are going to blast them when they can’t get any attention from it. They aren’t going to know about it.

“She’s such a phony hot dog.”

You mean sausage?

“More like a Nebraska county fair, world’s largest, record breaking, Johnsonville brat. That’s a 300 pound blue ribbon 4H FFA blue ribbon winner!”

My brother calls those sweathogs. Did you know they rebooted that show? Re-imagined it really. It’s still about school in the ghetto but there’s no Mr. Kotter or Vinny Barbarino. Did you know John Travolta is a big star now?

“Like Brad Pitt? Let’s go find that Aussie comedian we saw last night and roast her like a Hawaiian Kailua Pig!”

“That’s pretty authentic Princess Cruise Line! I know we cruised through Hawaii but that’s too real. Maybe stick to the dancing.”

Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that pig at the buffet. Did you know you can swim with a pig?

“Is she in the pool now?”

I mean you can swim with a pig in the Caribbean.

“Oh. That’s a different pig.”

I hope she took a shower before getting in the pool. Better yet, don’t get in the pool at all, just stay in the shower.

“That was pretty awesome. We should do it again.”

The roast or the trip through the fjords?

“The fjords. But the roast was good too. Don Rickles would be proud!”

Ok, we will do it again.

“Just the fjords please.”