Special ed?

If you are lucky, you’ll be special early on. People will treat you differently. Being in a family can make you feel special.

“Or not.”

Individual experience varies of course. But it’s nice to start out special.

The dictionary defines the verb ‘special’ as better, greater, or different than what is usual.

“Who says just being different is better? That sounds pretty subjective. Greater sounds a little more objective. Which is it?”

It does sound like we get to decide for ourselves what special means.

“Marketing. Got it. It’s also a noun. Like a special event. Special meaning just for the occasion.”

Birthday cake is special. It was made for the occasion.

“So are gambling cards.”

I’m special.

“How did you become special? Who said that?”

I’m special. I was picked.

That’s how I know I’m special. I couldn’t do it myself, not as a baby, I was helpless in the matter.

I’m not here by accident.

“You saying you are the chosen one?”

One of the chosen. Sounds right.

I’m not some Bob Ross happy accident.

“That might be kinda cool too.”

There are lots of babies. Many people give them away because they don’t want them or can’t take care of them. Sometimes they kill them. More than you would ever imagine.

“How many?”

Plenty. There are places where …

… getting picked is something! Don’t believe it doesn’t matter or doesn’t mean anything. Didn’t you play red rover? Dodgeball? Any team sport at all?

“I was the Homecoming Queen.”

I think that was Wendy. A lot of guys would pick her if they could.

“If they could. That’s right. No guy was going to pick her, it’s the other way around. She picks. That’s how that works.”

It was always going to be up to her. She wasn’t just pretty, she was an honor student, and an athlete. She was Asian too, at least part. Korean or Japanese I can’t remember if that detail even mattered. Beautiful, smart, and strong. She was Ling Ling before I ever decided what that was.

“Oh? You decided? She didn’t get to be homecoming queen because you said so.”

I don’t remember voting on it. All I’m saying is somebody has to validate. You just can’t say you are special and be special. That’s not special. That’s a snowflake. Unique and rare yet somehow not rare and the differences so small they don’t mean anything when comparing one to another.

“The Internet is great for validation!”

“People seek validation. I’ve heard that. Some even have mental problems if they don’t get it.”

So what could be better than being picked as a baby? You haven’t done anything ‘amazing’ or shown any talent whatsoever. You can’t do anything but cry. You are a born complainer! Somebody is going to choose you?! How lucky are you to be born with something another wants to look at, take care of, and teach you how to care for your self. They want you to succeed and be happy. They are going to sacrifice and love you just like a happy accident.

“I was just born like that. I didn’t do anything. It’s pretty unfair if you think about it.”

“Is that subjective or objective?”

That is subjective, even though there are many, one is deemed special by the observer. Validation by one.

Objective means it is judged by many observers. Validation by a group.

People got validation before. It just wasn’t so easy. Winning a Nobel Prize is a very objective validation of ‘special’.

You could get validation for being smart or funny or just about anything. There have been awards and parties for as long as we can remember. Sometimes the validation is just being recognized.

“These people used to hang out in Vegas. fyi”

I know that!

“The people that made us special are gone now. Does that mean we aren’t special anymore? We don’t have any external validation. Now what are we gonna do?”

I know were we can go.

“Chicken sandwiches and imaginary friends don’t count.”

Have you tried the sauce? The honey mustard is good of course, but I have to say the avacado lime ranch is heavenly.

“That’s cool I guess but I know this place we can always count on for support. It’s a place for the boyz, by the boyz, and we all got each other’s backs.”

Now that’s validation!

“The Internet is great for validation!”