‘How was your weekend?’

“Great!”

“Awesome!”

Did you know it was Valentine’s Day?

‘I know just what you want Wesley.’

‘Bri, are you convinced?’

“Totes”

“She’s the best!”

Ok then, you two seem happy. Are you ready for the deal. Here’s what you get:

Bri, you get to join the mean girls club. Your new bestie is such a character.  There is no subject or person off limits you can roast anything and anyone and she will too. You won’t be able to stop laughing. You might die laughing. You two will get all the attention. Everyone will be jealous and want to spend time together.

Wesley, I found the one who will love you for you, just the way you are. She won’t try to change a thing. You will love her too, I promise. She’s 21 years old and a bit wild. You won’t believe she’s real but she is. She just wants to be with you. She is so sweet for you, you’re going to be happy when you are with her.

They will never lie to you, ever.
They will pay for everything. You don’t have to buy anything.
They will never ask you for money, favors, nothing. They just want to be with you.
They will leave you alone during the week. You can work, sleep, relax. Anything you want. They won’t call or text you but they will always answer when you call or text them.
You can still chase after anyone you like, they won’t mind. No jealousy at all. I’ll even help you do it.
This deal is for 5 years. I guarantee both girls will be all I say they are for the full 5 years.

“I’ll take it!”

Wait Bri. I know these deals. There’s always something you aren’t hearing about. What’s in the contract? What’s the challenge?

‘You can’t have sex with either one of them.’

See, I told you Bri. These deals are never what you want and you can’t get out of the deal.

“Just these two? The others are ok?”

‘Yes Bri, that’s the challenge.’

“Oh that’s so easy. I didn’t even know them before now. I won’t care about just 2 girls out of billions. I won’t lose.”

‘So we have a deal then. Wesley?’

What happens if we lose? The whole soul damnation thing?

‘Don’t worry Wesley. You don’t believe in that anyway.’

But you will make my life here on earth a living hell.

‘So we have a deal then?’

Ok, I’ll take it.

‘Sign here.’

I can’t understand any of this. Contracts are for the people who write them. If you didn’t write the contract there’s nothing in it for you.

“Just sign it.”

Don’t we need to sign in blood or something?

‘No problem, we can do this all online. Easy Peazy.’

Ok. Done.

“Who are you anyway? How did you know what we wanted?”

‘I know – everything’

“And you are?”

“Princess of Darkness.”

‘Whatever you like. I love nicknames.’

“I like Paris Hilton”

We don’t know her. We’ve never met.

It is possible to meet. Possible. But maybe not likely unless she wanted to talk to you. There’s the challenge. Get her to be interested in you, somehow. I’ve done this a few times now. A little research and some attention getter will win you a look and maybe some words. It is more likely at the pool than inside the club. In the club they might as well be the pope behind glass. You won’t be talking to them. Some of them even ignore the crowd they are supposed to be playing to. They have what looks like a little private party in the booth and the DJ will twist a knob and raise a hand and otherwise act aloof. Maybe they don’t care.

“I like her. Even if I don’t really wanna talk to her. It’s about the show, not the person.”

What show?

“Think about it. That’s the Hilton hotel bizzillionaire. So much money there’s never a thought of money. Do whatever you want. What will you do? What will your life be?”

Flambouyant attitude. Extra-ordinary. Glamorous. Special. I like that in a character. A playmate even. The Imperial Empress has that. She and Bri are in the mean girls club. Nobody is safe from their roasts, but it is nobody in particular. Even if it starts with a particular person or thing it become ‘these bitches out here…’ Always these somethings, never a specified grievance. Its all attitude. If I show up with some sad story about trying to attract some girl and fail she helps me out by roasting her, cut her down so I don’t feel bad for losing out on nothing. She’s not going to let me be the sad sack. I’ll be laughing about it real quick. That’s the kind of friend she is to me.

“It’s hilarious. We jump from one thing to another like monkeys, screaming and flinging turds the whole way. I love it!”

It’s all in fun. “Other people” is anybody or anything.

“The actual mean girls did this to your face until you developed some mental disorder.”

Yeah, we’re just playing. It’s just us.

Most of the time we have our fun in comfort of the “Trailer in the Sky”. That’s what I call her place. It has a great view, but what we do here is more like what happens in a trailer park. She likes the name and calls it the same. It fits.

“You already know what’s going on.”

Can you tell we are dragging a hundred cans behind us? Don’t mind us, just passing through.

I love waking up with the girlz, even if we never went to sleep.

“Attitude!”

Bri’s bestie, the Imperial Empress, likes Hello Kitty stuff. She’s got a lot but I can make something new she’s never seen. You can’t buy it either. It will be unique and special.

I have some layouts and I tinker with the ideas. I’m going to make a Hello Kitty Ouija board. It’s gonna be awesome. I’m excited just thinking about playing with it with some rubes. You know this is a trick, some of the players are working together.

“Guess who! hahahahaha”

You and your bestie are gonna freak some people out.

“It’s gonna be hilarious. They are gonna scream bloody murder and run out like it’s haunted!”

I’ll never finish this. I do have work to do. I try to fit it in and think about how to make the final board. It was fun to work on it. I would always imagine the screams of delight she would make when she would see it. I always had that surprise planned but just didn’t get it done.

It’s not like we can’t think of things to do. We go out to the Casino’s and even a club once or twice.

“We’re still going.”

In time I’ll learn we can’t just go anywhere. You can’t just walk around attracting so much attention. It’s like a car dragging 100 aluminum cans behind it. Everybody is gonna look.

Saki Saki Saki

Just like the Aussies Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy

Tiki Bar works.

Casinos and Hotels are good.

Then there’s this.

“It’s another level we can’t even go to. We can’t stand next to her. Somebody else is gonna have to take it from here.”

We still know who it is. When even know where she came from and how she got here.

I’m good at the find me game. I can find you in other place times too. I see you. I know who you are, every version of you.

I can’t remember ever having a valentine like this. We traded cards when I was in grade school. My mom gave me chocolate when I was young. After that it has been a non-event. When I was married, every day was ‘valentine’ day. We didn’t need any commercialized money makers telling us one day meant more than another.

Now it means something. I won’t be buying anything but this day is a memorable one. I have a real valentine now and each year after. It is kind of a nice anniversary to say you met on Valentine’s Day. I’ll remember this day forever, and for the best reason.

Elizabeth. It’s one of those old names. Queen Elizabeth. Can you think of any others? Nothing comes to mind. I don’t even call her Elizabeth. She is usually so close I just say what I am to say. She knows I’m talking to her. I don’t even have a nickname for her. That’s unusual. We are very close since the first night on the dancefloor. Not quite magnetic, but definitely sharing space.

Liz has a lot of looks. She’s always experimenting with them. This is the one that makes it seem she might just be a normal 18 year old. I could see her modeling clothes at The Gap or Forever 21 or whatever. This even looks like a New York scene to me. Is it a coffee date or is this staged?

Valentines 2015 Liz is 21. This picture is late 2011. She’s 18 years old. She’s been modeling in New York City since she was 16. She says at this time her look was ‘little boy’. She tells me about the NYC modeling scene. There are so many models you need a niche. This is working for her then. It seems creepy to me. Modeling for what – Alter Boy magazine for perv priests?

She tells me about the scene. She’s got pictures of the apartments the models shared and stories about ‘arrangments’ which sound like benefactors for models. What the model has to do could be next to nothing, just show, take pictures, go. In my mind I’m thinking Epstein situations all over. I don’t know. I just listen and believe.

Lots of looks. Are you supposed to dye your eyebrows? Some girls shave them off and draw on new ones. She cycles through lots of looks. It’s like she’s experimenting to see what works even though she’s been doing this for years.

She’s also changing. She’s gone from high school to college age. I recognize this age. I know what’s coming.There are signs. She is almost 6 feet tall. She’s lost all the baby fat. This is woman. A young one, but this is a woman.

She’s waterproof too. I like she’s not afraid of the water. No worries about makeup either. She wears it like showgirls wear it, just for show.

We spend a sunday at the pool. With Aaron. She likes my pool, but not this one.

I’m not even worried about Nuclear Sunsets. Life is good.

And just like La Maligna said, she loves me just the way I am. She wouldn’t change a thing. She is so sweet to me. I can hardly believe it. I’m always happy when we are together.